Spiritual Vampire Sisters

I had heard about the Womens Circle for a while, and I began having more and more “friends” call me out of the blue to rave to me about the power of these circles inviting me in. Telling me stories of how it has freed them financially from the rat-race, sharing with me how they paid off their student loans, fixed their car, traveled to Bali and are even saving up to put a down-payment on a house from the gifts they have received. I was skeptical, but as time went on- it seemed that nearly every woman I knew was a part of these circles and I began to feel almost like an outsider for not choosing to join in.

I remember when I got 2 calls in a week to join in from some of my dearest friends. Two women who had completed circle more than 5 times- and assured me that it was safe, secure and that it was going to be the best decision I ever made. I finally decided to join in, and they said that they could “half-back-me if I joined that week”. I gave them my $2500 and then began joining in on the “life-changing-calls”. The first disappointment was the calls themselves. Everyone had raved about how amazing and healing the calls were, but these calls were just a bunch of egos practicing their spiritual-speeches. Everyone claimed to have some Native American roots, everyone was using the same terminology from “shit-new-age-girls-say”, and it felt like a terrible sitcom episode week after week. I only wish I had taped the shit coming out of some of these girls mouths- it’s up there with Keeping Up With The Kardashians. About 3 months into the grueling weekly calls, I got a call from the “sister” on Dessert- lets call her M. M is a professional seductress of sorts and within the hour  check in call- I found myself agreeing to cover the other half of my backing “until 2 of the other girls paid their portion”. I was assured that I would be getting it back in just a few weeks time and that it would speed the circle up which is what we wanted to have a successful circle, right?

I stupidly agreed, and sent another $2500. I had to send blank checks and cashier checks. Had to sign into encripted emails to have any conversations about the money, and still sit through the lengthy, nails-down-a-chalkboard-phone calls. I was shocked that no one else was speaking up trying to at least get some real conversations to take place. Did everyone really want to share again what “What does Sisterhood mean to you?”, and “What is your spirit animal and how does it show up for you?” again and again.

Months went on, and then M finished her dessert and I congratulated her and asked if she could give me my $2500 back as she had promised. She went on to say that the new Dessert “I” would have have to be the one to pay me that back. Soon, I began to be pressured to invite new women onto the circle, and each time I spoke up about the content of the calls, I was told to not project my own feelings into the calls, but just to “envision them being medicine for me, and to breakthrough my own blockages around inviting others into it.”

Soon, people began posting on facebook about the circles. When I began asking about some of the accusations to the women on top, they told me that it was rumors started by the men who were in our community that were just “jealous of the success of these women throughout the tribe. It made them feel inferior and un-needed. They were left out of the game, and women all around them were rising in their power and they were trying to dominate and stop this flow of abundance by infiltrating the system”. It became a call for the women to bind together even tighter and to hurry to bring as many other women into the circles as fast as possible. Certain men were even talked about on the calls negatively and women were told to look out for them- they couldn’t be trusted.

Soon, Circles were merging, and no one was telling us why. I finally had enough and asked to leave and asked for my money back. I was assured that I would receive my $5000 back if I wanted it but they kept saying- “You are so close to finishing, just find someone to take your place and they can split the money with you.” Eventually, another women in the circle found another sad soul to sit in my place on my dollar. It did’t make sense, but at least I didn’t have to sit though hours of spiritual-vampiric-bullshit each week. I was out, but the trust was broken. I had to move out of Grass Valley because I could hardly stand to be around the women who were supposed to be my sisters. I had women in my circle talking shit about me for leaving, saying that I weakened the circle and now things weren’t flowing as well.  I will never trust the women who brought me in, they have made no attempts to apologize or repay the debts.

Sure, people could say we should have known. But we didn’t. We got duped. We watched our closest friends come out on top with $40,000, $80,000 and $100,000 rewards. These were friends that I had for years. I trusted them. I believed them when they assured me and reassured me again and again. I believed them when shit started going public that it was just the guys trying to get involved by starting to create drama. I hadn’t heard women speaking up about it- and until now.. It had become shameful and something to just forget. If you lost money you felt fucking stupid for not knowing better. What is even more painful is that I watched all the women who joined into the circles last were the young, naive ones who just wanted to be a part of a circle of sisters. Who just wanted to have friends and who were easily duped because they were so trusting. That is the saddest part of all. Really good-hearted generous women who got their trust and their hearts trampled in all of this. It is devastating and I really do hope that the women who got paid out realize that the money they got is cursed now. They are financially karmically connected to fucking over sweethearted women, and banking on their kindness. I hope that just one of you has the guts to stand up and say- “I fucked up, I’m sorry, how can I help to make this shit right again”.  I dare you to be the first.